Even since I was sick with pneumonia a few weeks ago things have changed. I’m not sure if it was the fact that I was really scared about my health for the first time in my life (not being able to catch a breath for 6 hours will do that to you!) or the fact that I was literally stuck on the couch for a solid week, but my outlook on life drastically changed.
Before then, I tried my best to try and find more and more time for myself. I just wanted to head upstairs and be on my computer, or sit on the couch alone and play my PS3. But 3 key events happened that week that really woke me up. One of them was when I was up for 30 hours, by myself, trying as hard as I could to breathe. As I sat on the couch gasping for each breath, I could only think about all the wasted time I’d spent sitting on my computer doing much of nothing. The second event was that same period when I was lying in a hospital bed, hooked up to all kinds of machines, and not feeling any better. The last time I was like that in the summer it was because of dehydration and heat exhaustion. I knew all I needed was some fluids and something to get rid of my damn dehydration induced migrane. Everything would be fine in a few hours. This time lying there, I wasn’t so sure about that. The last and final thing happened several times. Jack wanted me to play with him and I literally did not have the energy to. I could see the disappointment in his little eyes and I knew that I had caused him to be sad. That was one of the worst feelings in the world. If I had just listened to my wife and gone to see the doctor a few weeks prior like she nagged I would not be in the situation. Things had to change.
And things did change. As soon as I got better it was like a switch flipped in my head. I was all about being the best father. It was all about my son. And you know what? It’s the best thing I think I ever could have done. Jackson and I now play at every opportunity, we have our own little ‘gags’ we do together, and best of all, I see happiness in his eyes. I can’t believe that I didn’t want to spend every minute I had with him before my sickness. I was a damn fool. My computer will be there 3 years from now. Jackson, as he is today, certainly will not be. He’s changing everyday and I don’t want to miss a single minute of it!
So Jackson’s latest fascination is with Thomas The Train. He watches it constantly, comes running when he hears it somes on, and is captivated by every minute of the show. In fact, we even got him his first Thomas toy for Valentine’s Day, and I just got him a few Thomas shirts the other day which he continues to hug each time he sees one. A few weeks ago, we were in Phillipsburg to vist my mother-in-law and sister-in-law. While there, Thomas came on the TV and Jack when running. My sister-in-law Jenn asked if he liked Thomas. I told her that this was his favorite show in the world. She then told me a story that a full sized Thomas came to Easton last year. This lit up a lightbulb in my head.
Long story short, I ordered tickets today to take Jackson to see this in July.
I showed him this very video at dinner to see what he thought. He was ear to ear smiles, jumping up and down, and point at the screen. This made my heart swell. If he was this excited to see a real Thomas on video, I can’t wait to see his reaction when he not only sees him in real life, but gets to take a ride on him as well.
Being a dad is the best thing that ever happened to me.
