This has been an interesting trip so far.
We arrived in Manchester on Sunday at 7:20AM. Once we got off the plane, we then proceeded through customs which was very quick and painless. After that we got our bags and headed to the rail station and the beginning of our journey. This is where things got a little hairy.
You see, we have, technically, 4 carry-on bags – Jess’s carry-on, Jess’s purse, camera bag and laptop bag. Now, we have all of this, plus 3 large suitcases all clocking in at around 53lbs a piece. Now, here we are, strapped down with our carry-ons, Jess leading the charge pulling her suitcase behind her, and me in tow pulling our other 2 suitcases. We needed to literally go down 1 level and then up another 3 to get to this railway station. It was a bit of a rough workout lugging everything thing through but we eventually made, it. In fact, by the time we got our rail tickets to Lancaster, the train was almost ready to leave. We hurried on board and got our tickets checked in. I was looking for a luggage compartment, but these trains didn’t have any. What they have is a little area by the door with 3 metal shelves for baggage. Thankfully, I managed to fit all of our bags in there. So, once the porter comes back around he asks us where we are going. We tell him that we are going to Lancaster. He looks at us and tells us we’ll need to get off at the Preston station for a train change. Great, but not that big of a deal. So, within about 10 minutes, we are off and running.
That is until about 3 stops later.
I forget the exact sequence, but I believe Preston was like the 6th stop. At the 3rd stop however, some engineers were working and weren’t done yet. So, the train could not pull into the station and we had to wait. We ended up sitting there for a little over 20 minutes. Now, keep in mind we have to connect with another train in Preston. Sounds like a familiar scenario, eh? So, we finally get going and we make it to Preston. I wrestle off the baggage and we look for our next train.
Oh, before I go any further, let me tell you something about English trains. They are not at all like American trains. For those of you used to riding the Merto, cherish it. To get off of these trains, you go through a very narrow door, you have to step down onto a very narrow metal step, and then traverse the 6in gap between the step and he station platform. That’s right, if you don’t make that gap, you’re in between the train and the landing platform. Lovely. So, we traverse the Gap of Doom and look at the train schedules. Nowhere does it tell you what train is going to Lancaster. So, Jess finds a porter and asks him where to go. He tells her we have to go to the other platform on the other side of the tracks. I look for a lift and there is none. All that’s available is a foot bridge that has 3 flights of stairs on each side.
I literally groaned out loud when I saw it.
I tell her to go on ahead with her one bag and find out what’s going on. It takes me a good 5 minutes to climb up these stairs. I finally get down and to the other side. Jess did find a porter and he thinks, yes, he thinks, that we should be taking the Glasgow train. Oh well, not much else we can do in a situation like this. So, when the Glasgow train arrives (about 20 minutes) we get on board, only to find it packed to capacity. I try and squish our luggage in with limited success, and we end up sitting in separate seats. Thank heavens we are the next stop. So, after a quick 15 minute train ride, I grab our shit and get the hell off of Death Train.
We are now at the Lancaster Rail Station. We actually planned most of this out in advance. There’s a bus line that goes right from the train station to the Lancaster Bus terminal, and then we take another bus to Thurnham. That is, that was the original plan. The plan we made for when we arrived on Saturday. But, because of the delay at JFK, it was now Sunday. And guess what kids? Yep, that’s right! That bus doesn’t run on Sundays! Give yourself a golden star! So, no knowing where the hell we are, we call a taxi and try to get to the bus station. When the driver arrives, we ask him how far Thurnham is from here. As it turns out, we are only about 20 minutes away. So, we have him just drive us directly to Thrunham Hall.
Keep in mind, we got off the plane at about 7:20am. We finally arrive and check in, and get to our room at about 12:15pm. What a crazy journey.
So, once I get there I do what every self-respecting geek would do – I fire up my laptop and check for a decent WIFI signal. I find 1 very weak signal and it was encrypted. It was so weak in fact that I was only picking up the SSID, and wasn’t even getting any signal at all from it. I read through the paperwork, and found out that if you had a laptop, to contact the reception desk and they would tell you how to get online. So, I do just that. That’s when they tell me their internet has been down for a few days and they’re not sure when it will be back up. Great…
So here I am in England, out in the middle of what I would call at home ‘bumble-fuck-land’, with no WIFI or land line internet. I have to email everyone to let them know we made it, and change our outgoing flight, and no way to do it.
Great….
